islamicrays:
The car ahead of me would not go, even though the light was green. I waited, I waited, I honked. I was trying to get somewhere fast and now I was just stuck. Then slowly, I saw an elderly person walking into view. Slowly, slowly she walked by. The size of the car had blocked my view of her completely, so I had simply thought the driver wasn’t paying attention. But really, they were protecting that woman from oncoming traffic; from people who were in a hurry to get somewhere and in that moment, couldn’t see the bigger picture.
Sometimes, you’re in the fast lane to get somewhere and suddenly, God stops you from your plans. You push from every direction, but all you seem to face is a wall.
You wonder why God isn’t opening the way, despite your patience. You wonder why He isn’t providing another route, despite your waiting. You pray desperately, knocking on His door, and yet you’re stuck, unable to understand why.
Perhaps He is protecting you from what you cannot see. You might not see the bigger picture yet, but He is stopping you for a reason. And without doubt, when you continue to pray, continue to hope, continue to take the means- He will open the path for you when the time is right.
“If we had perfect power to determine our destinies, and perfect vision to see the future and know what is best for us, we would choose exactly the fate that God has chosen for us.” Imam alGhazali rahimahullah
Ustadha Maryam Amir
(via fetty-feline)
The healing process can seem never-ending sometimes. You push through major fears only to be faced with all the other ones that were hiding underneath the surface. Fears you weren’t able to pay attention to before because louder ones were drowning them out. I always breathe a sigh of relief though, when I get to this point. Because so much has already been released and healed and it’s BEAUTIFUL to be able to close old doors to move onto the smaller difficulties that arise. And once you fully move past something, you can rest easy knowing things will never again be as painful or scary as they once were. Your entire state of being has shifted forwards.
For me personally, I’ve been working on being more intentional in my relationships. More present. More intimate. I’ve realized several things are still hard for me, but I push through them anyways: making eye contact without consciously thinking about the fact that I am holding eye contact, being seen, talking about myself, standing physically close to someone I don’t know very well, physical touch (which I love but I don’t know how to receive it fully without tensing up a little), taking up space and consistently reflecting my true nature across every situation instead of adapting to the energy of wherever I am, making small talk when all I want to do is dive under the surface, receiving compliments, etc.
But it’s almost a relief to be here, because just a couple years ago I couldn’t even walk into the grocery store without entering panic mode once someone’s eyes met mine. My objective was always to hide, blend in, or to mold myself into who others needed/wanted me to be. I didn’t have boundaries. My solid sense of self was only maintained while alone. But now I get to practice holding my sense of self ALWAYS, meeting others where they are at, sharing authentically from the heart, and trusting both myself and the situations I enter into. What a messy, beautiful fucking ride it’s been!
I share so much about my internal process because it’s my truth. This is what life looks like for me. We all have shit that we are carrying around— different blockages that keep us from living our most fulfilling lives. But I don’t know any other way to go about it than to continually practice releasing and moving forwards to the next challenge that arises. This is all part of the human experience anyways, isn’t it? Always striving for the next level of bliss that comes with shedding the old and embracing the new?
I’m so curious to know what all of you are working on in your own lives… I’m wondering if I could maybe invite you to share too? No judgment, because I promise you there is nothing shameful about owning the fact that we hold negative conditioning in certain areas (conditioning that is typically not even our fault!) There is so much strength in wanting to shift the way we show up in the world, especially when putting in the conscious effort to make it happen.
